赢在起跑点输在半途
提前把一年级课本内容教孩子，就是我们幼儿园里要做筹备的工作吗？我并不认为如此，反而担心小瓜自己觉得一旦比别人提早会了，就会觉得对小学老师所教的很沉闷，当小瓜一觉得上课沉闷，下一步，你会猜到他们会做什么？就是没事找事做，或轻视学习，养成不专心的学习态度，造成他日的学习障碍，那时候就算是赢在起跑点，但却输在半场，那更不用说在终点的成绩了。
一般人会觉得读写能力就是进小学前最重要的准备，往往他们都忘了除了知识技能上的准备，还有一项不可忽烈的要项-心理上的准备。加强孩子的生活自理应变能力及培养良好的生活态度与习惯是同等重要的。
小学的范围比幼儿园大，人数当然也比幼儿园多，可想而知，小学老师也无法像幼儿园老师般时时刻刻在旁看股，因此孩子本身的生活自理及应变能力有必要加强。教他们如何整理书包，为自己的物品负责，当遇上问题如何想办法解决等。。。这些都需要关注的，如果孩子平时在生活上太过依赖及被动的，不难发现在学习上的态度亦会如此。
当然，如要培养孩子本身的生活自理及应变能力并不是在短期内就能让小瓜掌握，而是需要长期的经营与准备才能达到效果。所以在幼儿园的培养是很重要的。本人之所以一直强调在幼儿时期需要培养孩子们的自学，自立和自理与人沟通（全方位培训）。
小学课业繁重的问题，往往令小瓜太沉重了！这种不健康的现状已形成一股压力不断地往下压，导致幼儿园小学化的风气越来越强盛，也导致可怜的小瓜需要提早接受功课的压迫，而探索这精彩世界的权力早已被剥夺，为的是希望往日可以生产更多有品质的考试机器人！其实我们不必为小瓜们担心，功课，写字只是一种技能而已，小瓜在升上小一后，自然而然的都能掌握写字的技巧。反而，如果在自理方面没有加强，假设当他在小一时上大号后不会自理的情况下，当时妈妈和佣人都没有机会到校服侍，那才可悲！
还记得小孩不笨那套戏吗？那绑匪说要绑架现在的小孩子需要连佣人都一齐绑的一段话，应征了我们的小瓜有多依赖？
白老师 03-09-2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
拔苗助长-一侧小小分享，将改变您孩子的一生。
拔苗助长-一侧小小分享，将改变您孩子的一生
在我从事教育这行业里的经验中，即我所知，相同一样岁数的小天使，未必智商与吸收力和学习态度都是一致的。有小部分的小瓜的天分是我们不可预料的。当然！天分归于天分，还需家长与家庭环境的配合。至于有大部分的小瓜的吸收力比较逊色，所以我们做大人的需要给他她们时间和空间，不要过于紧张，往往家长们很喜欢拿别人或亲戚朋友的孩子来做比较，这可对我们的小瓜公平？相同的一个岁数，未必是相同的素质？第一，还得看您孩子的素质，是不是跟您做比较的人一样？（而且，未必双亲是医生，将来孩子就会一定医生呐！）再来，您的家庭背景，是不是您有提供良好的环境？第三，您是不是一样的陪您的孩子做功课，读书？第四，是不是您也有以身作则,在孩子读书写字之时，确保您本身没有在电视机前？第五，还得看孩子学习的态度。往往家长们忽列了以上的几点。
如果说，比较是为了炫耀彼此孩子的长处，而伤了某方比较逊色小瓜的自尊心（列为逊色小瓜的家人，肯定痛骂或嫌弃自己的孩子为何让她他下不了台）这可是我们所要看的？？？为了别人一时的炫耀，让我们的小瓜伤了那小小的，脆弱的玻璃心。这可值得？？？请用您的手，摸着您的心。问问您本身，你希望这种不幸的事发生在您的宝贝的身上？？？为了那难咽下的一口气？？？如果家长们过于紧张，在拔苗助长的情况之下，导致孩子们需承受家长过于紧张的压力。久而久之，孩子便会放弃学习。这个后果，可是我们所要看的？？？
还记得，2007年，，有一位当时还是四岁小瓜的妈妈。从去年的三月份开始，时常摇电话给本人关于孩子的进度，当时的她问我几项令我啼笑皆非的问题。那个妈妈，她好像不明确本园的一贯作风，（本园注重的是小天使全方位培训）本园三，四岁孩子其实没有强制性握笔写字，本园一直强调要以活动作为学习。当时的她，时常问我为什么她的孩子还不会握笔写字，为什么没有功课？？为什么亲戚的孩子在别间的学校已经会握笔写字了和每天都有几本功课带回家？？？虽然，我已解释了多遍，（根据教育部条列，所有的幼儿在三到六岁是不着重在于写字，考试方面，有的学校就是不懂或是没有听取教育部的教诲，一昧着重在写字和考试，往往培育出来的孩子，就是只能被动性，就好像机器人一样，推一下才走一下，这就是左脑式的教学了）和以她的孩子吸收力比较慢和学习态度的情况，她 还是一知半解，我知道她可能不是和本人有一致的观念。但！本人还没放弃的费尽唇舌灌输她这方面的知识。为了的是，当有一个家长因为我的灌输，改变了对孩子所作出一些不健康的施压，让社会少了位孩子因为未能承受和面对的压力。而选择了放弃学习。
但！在十月份，接到了这位妈妈的电话说，不让他的孩子在五岁时继续在本园学习，就是因为孩子还没能掌握握笔写字和本园不能提供多多功课的要求而放弃。本人知道这位妈妈的Mind Set 与本人不一致就不以为然。就在本园十一月头将要拒绝再收五岁孩子之际（因为五岁班孩子的数量已经额满了）。这位小天使的爸爸摇了个电话给我，要求本人能继续让他的小瓜就读本园。最后，本人也因为这位爸爸的苦心之下，答应了他的要求。
很欣慰的是， 今年却很少收到这位妈妈的电话了。为什么？？ 因为这位小天使，自从上了五岁之后，在下半年时，进度竟然神速。现在握笔写字，认字和阅读，人际方面都没问题。
就是这么的神奇，孩子就是需要时间培养。（有的可能用上两至三年）但！很欣慰的事。现代的父母亲，大多都有这方面的知识了，不是只是小瓜们需要上课，父母亲也是需要接受别人的劝告和读有关孩子成长的书籍，往往因为家长Mind Set一改变，您的孩子的一生就变得更精彩了。
请帮忙把白老师这篇文章（花了很多的时间写得喔）转寄给您所认识的亲戚朋友。您可能会因为举手之劳之下，改变了一个小天使的一生喔！
为什么写这篇文章？别无他意，只想改变多一个孩子的一生罢了。
Together We Educate , We Care for your Child
白老师 31-08-200
QQ 幼儿园与托儿所（Sg Petani Kedah 分园）
在我从事教育这行业里的经验中，即我所知，相同一样岁数的小天使，未必智商与吸收力和学习态度都是一致的。有小部分的小瓜的天分是我们不可预料的。当然！天分归于天分，还需家长与家庭环境的配合。至于有大部分的小瓜的吸收力比较逊色，所以我们做大人的需要给他她们时间和空间，不要过于紧张，往往家长们很喜欢拿别人或亲戚朋友的孩子来做比较，这可对我们的小瓜公平？相同的一个岁数，未必是相同的素质？第一，还得看您孩子的素质，是不是跟您做比较的人一样？（而且，未必双亲是医生，将来孩子就会一定医生呐！）再来，您的家庭背景，是不是您有提供良好的环境？第三，您是不是一样的陪您的孩子做功课，读书？第四，是不是您也有以身作则,在孩子读书写字之时，确保您本身没有在电视机前？第五，还得看孩子学习的态度。往往家长们忽列了以上的几点。
如果说，比较是为了炫耀彼此孩子的长处，而伤了某方比较逊色小瓜的自尊心（列为逊色小瓜的家人，肯定痛骂或嫌弃自己的孩子为何让她他下不了台）这可是我们所要看的？？？为了别人一时的炫耀，让我们的小瓜伤了那小小的，脆弱的玻璃心。这可值得？？？请用您的手，摸着您的心。问问您本身，你希望这种不幸的事发生在您的宝贝的身上？？？为了那难咽下的一口气？？？如果家长们过于紧张，在拔苗助长的情况之下，导致孩子们需承受家长过于紧张的压力。久而久之，孩子便会放弃学习。这个后果，可是我们所要看的？？？
还记得，2007年，，有一位当时还是四岁小瓜的妈妈。从去年的三月份开始，时常摇电话给本人关于孩子的进度，当时的她问我几项令我啼笑皆非的问题。那个妈妈，她好像不明确本园的一贯作风，（本园注重的是小天使全方位培训）本园三，四岁孩子其实没有强制性握笔写字，本园一直强调要以活动作为学习。当时的她，时常问我为什么她的孩子还不会握笔写字，为什么没有功课？？为什么亲戚的孩子在别间的学校已经会握笔写字了和每天都有几本功课带回家？？？虽然，我已解释了多遍，（根据教育部条列，所有的幼儿在三到六岁是不着重在于写字，考试方面，有的学校就是不懂或是没有听取教育部的教诲，一昧着重在写字和考试，往往培育出来的孩子，就是只能被动性，就好像机器人一样，推一下才走一下，这就是左脑式的教学了）和以她的孩子吸收力比较慢和学习态度的情况，她 还是一知半解，我知道她可能不是和本人有一致的观念。但！本人还没放弃的费尽唇舌灌输她这方面的知识。为了的是，当有一个家长因为我的灌输，改变了对孩子所作出一些不健康的施压，让社会少了位孩子因为未能承受和面对的压力。而选择了放弃学习。
但！在十月份，接到了这位妈妈的电话说，不让他的孩子在五岁时继续在本园学习，就是因为孩子还没能掌握握笔写字和本园不能提供多多功课的要求而放弃。本人知道这位妈妈的Mind Set 与本人不一致就不以为然。就在本园十一月头将要拒绝再收五岁孩子之际（因为五岁班孩子的数量已经额满了）。这位小天使的爸爸摇了个电话给我，要求本人能继续让他的小瓜就读本园。最后，本人也因为这位爸爸的苦心之下，答应了他的要求。
很欣慰的是， 今年却很少收到这位妈妈的电话了。为什么？？ 因为这位小天使，自从上了五岁之后，在下半年时，进度竟然神速。现在握笔写字，认字和阅读，人际方面都没问题。
就是这么的神奇，孩子就是需要时间培养。（有的可能用上两至三年）但！很欣慰的事。现代的父母亲，大多都有这方面的知识了，不是只是小瓜们需要上课，父母亲也是需要接受别人的劝告和读有关孩子成长的书籍，往往因为家长Mind Set一改变，您的孩子的一生就变得更精彩了。
请帮忙把白老师这篇文章（花了很多的时间写得喔）转寄给您所认识的亲戚朋友。您可能会因为举手之劳之下，改变了一个小天使的一生喔！
为什么写这篇文章？别无他意，只想改变多一个孩子的一生罢了。
Together We Educate , We Care for your Child
白老师 31-08-200
QQ 幼儿园与托儿所（Sg Petani Kedah 分园）
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
幼儿应认多少字？
婴幼儿的识字量以多少为好？
专家回复：：
婴幼儿的识字量以多少为好，不能有一个硬性的规定。教孩子识字的目的，主要是培养他对学习汉字的兴趣和热情，帮助孩子早一点学会阅读。一般来讲孩子能识七、八百个字，就可以读儿童初级读物了，然后在阅读中学习新的汉字。
当然，孩子有兴趣，能识一、两千个字或者更多，也是值得称赞的。 但父母一定要认识到：
孩子特点各有不同，识字敏感的程度也不一样，所以识字的多少，阅读的迟早，
自 然各不一样。因而识字多少不是衡量孩子优劣的主要标准，
早期识字决不能排 名次，比高低，要知道对待生活和识字阅读的兴趣，比识字数量更重要。
专家回复：：
婴幼儿的识字量以多少为好，不能有一个硬性的规定。教孩子识字的目的，主要是培养他对学习汉字的兴趣和热情，帮助孩子早一点学会阅读。一般来讲孩子能识七、八百个字，就可以读儿童初级读物了，然后在阅读中学习新的汉字。
当然，孩子有兴趣，能识一、两千个字或者更多，也是值得称赞的。 但父母一定要认识到：
孩子特点各有不同，识字敏感的程度也不一样，所以识字的多少，阅读的迟早，
自 然各不一样。因而识字多少不是衡量孩子优劣的主要标准，
早期识字决不能排 名次，比高低，要知道对待生活和识字阅读的兴趣，比识字数量更重要。
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
How to boost Children Self confidence
Five Biggest Mistakes Parents Make With Confidence-Boosting
By Michael Grose
Parents always have the right intentions when they boost their children's confidence but sometimes their esteem-boosting efforts backfire and have the reverse effect.
By Michael Grose
Parents always have the right intentions when they boost their children's confidence but sometimes their esteem-boosting efforts backfire and have the reverse effect.
Here are five mistakes parents commonly make when they try to give their children self-esteem a boost:
1. Over-praise
It is easy to become a praise junkie so that kids are praised for standing up straight. "Wow! You are standing up. What a guy!" Go easy on the praise. Too much of it and it means nothing. Also praise boys in private rather than public as they can become easily embarrassed.
2. Fail to link comment with effort
Make sure the things you praise really deserve it. Sometimes we lower the bar with children and we do them a disservice when we accept second and third rate efforts.
3. Use a sibling or friend as a model
Sometimes in our efforts to inspire kids we use friends or siblings as role models. Comments such as "Look how hard your elder sister works?" actually discourage kids rather than encourage them. Compare kids only with themselves not others.'
4. Mix praise with criticism
There is nothing like bursting a child's bubble by praising them up for good work followed by a "but ...you could do better" or something equally deflating. Keep feedback and criticism for another time and let kids enjoy a bit of praise.
5. Lack of sincerity
If you encourage or praise a child you have to mean it. I mean really mean it otherwise kids see through it a mile off.
We all have the best of intentions when we try to boost the self-confidence of children and young people however if we are to do something we may as well do it well.
So to be effective at self-esteem boosting it helps if we:
1. Be realistic with the amount of praise we give and don't over do it.
2. Make sure we link our positive comments with real effort and improvement from children.
3. Never compare a child to a sibling or friend, even out of frustration.
4. Avoid mixing praise with criticism or sarcasm. Don't expect kids to do a perfect job so approximations are okay. Poor effort isn't always okay though.
5. Only encourage or praise a child when we really mean it.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tips for Disciplining Your Toddler
Top Ten Tips For Disciplining Your Toddler
By Dr. Clare Albright
How can I support my toddler's spontaneity while supporting his need to learn to behave in ways that will help him to get along well in relationships and at school? How can I discipline my toddler without causing him to feel shame?
1. Learn to say "no" in a firm, peaceful way that carries authority but not anger. This parenting skill will help you to cut short years of power struggles with your child and will help your child to feel secure in knowing that there are limits. Strong-willed behavior and temper tantrums can be encouraged by a "no" from a parent who doesn't sound convincing.
2. Stay with your child when they are in "time out" so that they don't feel abandoned. Many parents leave the area, which can make a child feel rejected.
3. Follow through, no matter what, if you say that there will be a consequence for misbehaving so that your child does not learn to manipulate you. If you change your mind after a child protests, you are encouraging your child to protest even more in the future.
4. Pick one or two target behaviors to focus your discipline on at a time, such as not playing with their food. It is usually more effective to completely train your child in one or two areas than to try to train them a little bit in many different areas.
5. Be the boss and don't be ashamed of being the boss in your relationship with your child. If you are not the boss, they will step into the power vacuum and this may have long term negative consequences. You could even say to your child occasionally, "I am the boss."
6. Discipline your child in your loving, caring environment. Otherwise, they may learn discipline from frustrated teachers in the less caring and loving environment of school.
7. Present you child with small choices if you are in a lot of power struggles with your child. "Do you want to wear the white shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want the carrots or the peas?"
8. Remember that consistent discipline is a safety issue. There will be times that your child's obedience to your input can save them from danger. The best time to prepare for a dangerous situation is before you are in a dangerous situation.
9. Do not feel obligated to explain your rationale for the things that you ask of your child every time that you ask something of them. Many parents fall into the trap of explaining the rationale behind all of their requests, usually because they want their child to feel respected. Unfortunately, this often leads to the child learning how to manipulate their parent by acting like the rationale is not compelling enough to justify cooperating with the parent's request.
10. Focus on "first time" obedience. Your child is old enough to learn this concept. It is not helpful to your child to have you repeat yourself over and over when it is time for them to come to dinner, have their diaper changed, etc.
By Dr. Clare Albright
How can I support my toddler's spontaneity while supporting his need to learn to behave in ways that will help him to get along well in relationships and at school? How can I discipline my toddler without causing him to feel shame?
1. Learn to say "no" in a firm, peaceful way that carries authority but not anger. This parenting skill will help you to cut short years of power struggles with your child and will help your child to feel secure in knowing that there are limits. Strong-willed behavior and temper tantrums can be encouraged by a "no" from a parent who doesn't sound convincing.
2. Stay with your child when they are in "time out" so that they don't feel abandoned. Many parents leave the area, which can make a child feel rejected.
3. Follow through, no matter what, if you say that there will be a consequence for misbehaving so that your child does not learn to manipulate you. If you change your mind after a child protests, you are encouraging your child to protest even more in the future.
4. Pick one or two target behaviors to focus your discipline on at a time, such as not playing with their food. It is usually more effective to completely train your child in one or two areas than to try to train them a little bit in many different areas.
5. Be the boss and don't be ashamed of being the boss in your relationship with your child. If you are not the boss, they will step into the power vacuum and this may have long term negative consequences. You could even say to your child occasionally, "I am the boss."
6. Discipline your child in your loving, caring environment. Otherwise, they may learn discipline from frustrated teachers in the less caring and loving environment of school.
7. Present you child with small choices if you are in a lot of power struggles with your child. "Do you want to wear the white shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want the carrots or the peas?"
8. Remember that consistent discipline is a safety issue. There will be times that your child's obedience to your input can save them from danger. The best time to prepare for a dangerous situation is before you are in a dangerous situation.
9. Do not feel obligated to explain your rationale for the things that you ask of your child every time that you ask something of them. Many parents fall into the trap of explaining the rationale behind all of their requests, usually because they want their child to feel respected. Unfortunately, this often leads to the child learning how to manipulate their parent by acting like the rationale is not compelling enough to justify cooperating with the parent's request.
10. Focus on "first time" obedience. Your child is old enough to learn this concept. It is not helpful to your child to have you repeat yourself over and over when it is time for them to come to dinner, have their diaper changed, etc.
Positive Reinforcement
Using Positive Reinforcement to Change Your Child's Behavior
By Destry Maycock
Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice that they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do the times before? Is it working?
How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.
Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."
It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.
Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."
Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.
Some parents find it helpful to make themselves a note and then they put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using The Jar of Consequences a parenting tool I developed to help parents focus on the positive behaviors their children engage in.
Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. What ever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.
By Destry Maycock
Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice that they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do the times before? Is it working?
How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.
Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."
It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.
Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."
Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.
Some parents find it helpful to make themselves a note and then they put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using The Jar of Consequences a parenting tool I developed to help parents focus on the positive behaviors their children engage in.
Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. What ever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.
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